another one on chuck norris

CNN was originally created as the "Chuck Norris Network" to update Americans with on-the-spot ass kicking in real-time.

Chuck Norris can win a game of Connect Four in only three moves.

There is no theory of evolution, just a list of creatures Chuck Norris allows to live.

Chuck Norris once ate three 72 oz. steaks in one hour. He spent the first 45 minutes having sex with his waitress.

What was going through the minds of all of Chuck Norris' victims before they died? His shoe.

Chuck Norris is the only man to ever defeat a brick wall in a game of tennis.

Police label anyone attacking Chuck Norris as a Code 45-11.... a suicide.

Chuck Norris doesn't churn butter. He roundhouse kicks the cows and the butter comes straight out.

Chuck Norris doesn’t wash his clothes, he disembowels them.

A Handicapped parking sign does not signify that this spot is for handicapped people. It is actually in fact a warning, that the spot belongs to Chuck Norris and that you will be handicapped if you park there.

been off for a long time...here is a series on chuck norris that I am starting today

Chuck Norris once roundhouse kicked someone so hard that his foot broke the speed of light, went back in time, and killed Amelia Earhart while she was flying over the Pacific Ocean.

Crop circles are Chuck Norris' way of telling the world that sometimes corn needs to lie down.

Chuck Norris is ten feet tall, weighs two-tons, breathes fire, and could eat a hammer and take a shotgun blast standing.

The Great Wall of China was originally created to keep Chuck Norris out. It failed miserably.

Contrary to popular belief, Chuck Norris, not the box jellyfish of northern Australia, is the most venomous creature on earth. Within 3 minutes of being bitten, a human being experiences the following symptoms: fever, blurred vision, beard rash, tightness of the jeans, and the feeling of being repeatedly kicked through a car windshield.

Most people have 23 pairs of chromosomes. Chuck Norris has 72... and they're all poisonous.

If you ask Chuck Norris what time it is, he always says, "Two seconds 'til." After you ask, "Two seconds 'til what?" he roundhouse kicks you in the face.

this video is so perfect...

I just so love this...this is all that you will do if you are being too stupid...the choice is yours.


Thanks youtube and James at war....

The days of Kalidas are long gone...

The days of Kalidas are long gone; it was way back hundreds of thousands of years ago that you got noticed and rewarded with fortunes when you sat on a tree and cut the branch you were sitting on. With no offense to Kalidas but man!!! what was the guy thinking when he was doing that...anyways guess he realized that too and later turned intelligent and wrote the iconic "Abhigyan Shakuntalam".

The current generation is all about chasing their dreams(finding their own edit of Abhigyan shakuntalam at a much faster pace, and are quite happy with the folies that it has) and doing it the smart way. Either it is smart way or no way…is choice yours “Be Smart and Fly” or “Be Stupid and…”

Indian youth believes in fun and deviance but not at the risk of being stupid treading their path and they don’t need to be stupid to find their own stage. If I looked at all the jeans brands available around in India Flying Machine believes in this philosophy of being smart (read: yourself) rather being stupid (read: aping someone else). Spread your wings fly and don’t be too stupid as stupid is stupid however much you glorify it. Did some jeans brand still say Be stupid and go and pay them many thousands for what a damned pair of denims...my only question is not really to the brand but to the consumers...is it really worthwhile being stupid...I would say...don't be too stupid...

My Fellow Indians

Some of these hilarious...some very insightful on my fellow Indians 

 (I don't mean any offense they are just jokes if we can handle 35=10 am sure we can handle this too... would love some feedback though on this)

1. There is a sale on any item, you buy 100 of them and that's when you buy most of the expensive international brands.
 

2. You make tea in a saucepan.
 

3. You never buy bin bags, but use your saved shopping bags for it.

4. You put your clothes in suitcases instead of wardrobes.

5. You have a "Singer Brother" sewing machine at home.

6. Your mother has a minor disagreement with her sister and doesn't talk to her for ten years.

7. You call an older person you've never met before "uncle".

8. You hide everything from your parents.

9. Your mother does everything for you if you are male.

10. You do all the housework and cooking if you are female.

11. Your relatives alone could populate a small city.

12. Everyone is a family friend.
 

13. Everyone always called you for help on homework.
 

14. You read law, medicine or engineering at university.
 

15. You were thick so you read computer science or business studies instead.
 

16. You know no one who has read music.
 

17 You went to a university as far away from home as possible.
 

18. You still came back home to live with your parents after you had finished university.
 

19. Your best friend got married at the age of 16.
 

20. You only make telephone calls after 6pm.
 

21. You like the meat well done.
 

22. You eat onions with everything.
 

23. You use chilli sauce instead of tomato ketchup.
 

24. You fight over who pays the dinner bill.
 

25. You say you hate Indian films(/songs) but secretly watch(/hear) them with your parents.
 

26. You teach Westerners swearwords in Panjabi.
 

27. You order Indian food in your own Panjabi to impress the people you're with but the waiters don't understand you.
 

28. You avoid public places when with a member of the opposite sex, especially if there is an acquaintance within a 250 miles radius.
 

29. You always say "open the light" instead of "turn the light on".
 

30. You secure your baggage with a rope.
 

31. You're walking out of customs with your trolley at the airport and you see all twenty-five members of your family.

This is a very long list...can go on forever, but there is one more thing while you might see that some of these are funny and everything else but there is one thing very clear about us...we can be anything and all of the above...but we will never "Be Stupid". We know a jeans despite any label is not worth 8000+ its best between 1000-1500...

What rings a bell with Indian Youth

There is a story I want to tell today, a friend of mine met someone at a high profile bar a few days back...loved the teeshirt he was wearing. Typically I would hazard saying that this friend is quite clear on what kind of clothing he wants, and at the same time he is someone who is not lokking for basic run of the mill stuff. Now coming back to the story about this friend at the bar, my friend loved the tee so much that he walked up this "young dude" and complemented him on the tee...and asked him where did he get it from...

The young dude replied - "xxxxxxxx"(i am masking the brand name for sensitivity issues as the brand in question is a popular jeans brand in India).

My friend then noticed that the T-Shirt carried a graphic that carried name of another brand that was "yyyyyyyy"(i am masking the brand name again for sensitivity issues as the brand in question is an upcoming popular jeans brand in India is not as expensive or old as the other one that the guy mentioned, but I have used this brand myself and i know it is quite good actually better than most available here in India).

Now comes the most interesting part my friend out of curiosity pointed that out and then the guy, then came another sheepish reply "hey you're talking about the one on top that is "yyyyyyyy" the one inside is "xxxxxxxx"....

this incident made me think what happens to youth in our country...we are smart, we do well in school..go to very good colleges (IITs IIMs and many more)...what do we do next. we look for a job in a MNC across sectors... we want to wear brands that come from the west...we like to shop (or atleast want to have a feeling of) in malls that look like the ones in US or singapore...we prefer a ford over maruti...we prefer west above ourself. I am not saying for a fraction of a second that we should ignore anything but ask an IIM grad whether he would choose a job at SBI over a job in Citibank...and you will get the answer or atleast the feeling that i am trying to depict here with this story. It is immaterial which were the two brands in question with that young dude at some bar, what is important is that if the same guy will compare things in a more objective manner and be more confident of themselves...this is the country that boasts of a fairly high IQ scores...you get through in IIT entrance and you know that you will do fabulously well in Mathematics Olympiad.....and the list goes on and on...

 ....and I have just one thing for that young friend...do whatever you feel like but don't be too stupid.

What do you think about my story here...do let me know...

Rule of 35=10

For those of you who have worked at a call center in India...or atleast have been trained to work there on day 1 the first rule you are taught is 35=10...funny right when 35 is not equal to 10 this is a no-brainer.

here is the real deal for those who never went to a call center it is an IQ comparision...the deal is that the IQ of a 35 yr old in the US is as good as the IQ of a 10 yr old in India...so man u've got to be super patient with them while you talk to them...

Now don't know why the call center guys do this...but i just found it quite hilarious and mean at the same time...well if you're too stupid this is what the world does to you...so be whatever but.........